Today, I’m joining in the fun over at Foursons to air some grievances that I have. Now, if you’ve been following me for some time than you know that I usually try to keep it light (except for a few infertility posts here and there), but this weeks has had a lot more downs than ups and I just need to get them off my chest! :) So, here it goes…
Dear Wal-Mart Shoplifter,
Perhaps you think of yourself as a mere “taste tester”? Well, I am here to inform you that unless Wal-Mart is PAYING you to open and eat out of packages of Sugar Free Vanilla Wafer Cookies, you are STEALING! I’m sure you just wanted to decide for yourself whether or not this particular brand of cookie was worth purchasing, but too bad…you need to pay first and that’s a gamble anytime you buy sugar free. And while you might think that it was the responsibility of the cashier, bag boy, myself, or even my 5-year old daughter to have caught that opened package instead of purchasing it, in my exhausted, but sweet-craving state at 7:00 at night I did not.
Newly-Diagnosed GESTATIONAL DIABETIC Mommy
Dear Gestational Diabetes,
While not surprised, I am disappointed that you have decided to return to invade my poor pregnant body, yet once again. There’s nothing that thrills me more than checking my blood sugar 4-5X a day, counting carbs, and sticking to the boring (albeit healthy) gestational diabetic diet.
I guess I should take solace in the fact that you did not rear your ugly head sooner…I passed my 1-hour glucose tolerance tests earlier on in the pregnancy and 28 weeks is the typical timeline for imposing yourself on those of us you afflict. So…thank you? for kicking in during my last trimester and not sooner.
Repeatedly-Diagnosed Gestational Diabetic
Dear Church Lady,
While I know you only have the best of intentions in showing your children the significance of attending Mass regularly and of course, pleasing God, I PROMISE you that God would much rather have you keep you SICK child at home providing comfort rather than spreading germs to all of those around you.
I have to say, that your daughter was one of the most pathetic sights I have seen in a long time. One look at her flushed cheeks, watery staring eyes, and lethargic state was enough to diagnosis some type of upper respiratory ailment…and the icing on the cake was the green mucus constantly running from her nose as she coughed and sprayed spittle on me, my mother, sister, children and nephews.
I must thank you now that Benjamin is displaying the exact same symptoms including a 101 degree temperature. We only had planned to attend 1Friday night Work Function and 3 high school graduations on Saturday.
One Seriously Annoyed Parishioner
(No picture…it probably would have been rude of me to photographer her sick child…not to mention grossed everyone out!)
Okay…I feel better! Now, I’m off to medicate my son and pray that by tomorrow afternoon he is fever free and well enough for us to make the rounds of graduation parties…because there is nothing a gestational diabetic craves more than CAKE! LOL