Thursday, April 25, 2013

Staying in Love...with God and Your Spouse!

I'm drowning.

Feeling like I can barely hang on.

And it's all my own doing.

So much has been going on within my family and friends.

Most significantly, my father-in-law was in and out of the ER last week and weekend.  He underwent emergency surgery Monday morning.  The results were better than expected.  No cancer.  Just a severely enlarged prostate.  The surgeon was able to stop the bleeding and clean out the bladder.  For this we are so grateful.  While he is not out of the woods with regard to a treatment plan (meaning, he may need an actual surgery on the prostate) he is at least out of pain and breathing a deep sigh of relief.  My husband was so stressed and we all felt it last week.

In addition to the medical emergency, Chris and I learned of five, FIVE, couples separating/divorcing over the past couple of weeks.  And these aren't folks who have only been married for a few years.  These are 15-, 20-, 25-year marriages being torn apart.  A few involve little ones, mostly they are couples with grown children.

But can I tell you, from experiencing divorce through my husband's parents, it is still ugly even if you are in your 30s.  While we might wish that everyone plays nice and no one takes "sides"...it's obvious in these "later years" divorces that hurts are decades old and everyone is a victim.  Even the grandchildren.  (Chris' family still struggles with this 10+ years later.)

A few of these divorces have left me in shock...

...and yet they don't.

As I shared with my mom, we live in such a fallen/broken world.  Those of us living in sacramental marriages must fight against the tide of a hedonistic, materialistic, and individualistic society every single day.

I don't judge.

I don't.

I feel sorrow.  And pain.  For these friends and family members, but not judgment.

To say I haven't wanted to throw in the towel a time or two would be a lie.  But I just can't.  I won't.    My sweet friend, Jamie Jo, just wrote about marriage herself, which is ironic, because it has been on my heart as well.


 


I have to remind myself of this every.single.day.

(The grass looks oh so greener in my girlfriends' yards!!!)

But in addition to all of the above, I've needed to focus on joy for one very special little girl is making her First Holy Communion this weekend.

Here's a sneak peek of her dress and shoes...



At Mass this morning, Father John reminded us adults of how significant this occasion is for our little ones.  How we need to capture that joy and excitement that our little ones are experiencing to receive the Body and Blood of Christ for the very first time...how eager they are to be received into full communion with the Church...when we come to Communion ourselves.  Made me cry.

As I mentioned above, I've been crazy busy cleaning and preparing for this weekend.  Since Communion is at 2:30 in the afternoon on Sunday, I am doing a formal brunch for Mary and my parents!  I've got my menu prepped and groceries bought...as well as the table decorations laid out.  Here's another sneak peek...I've still got table linens to add, as well as silverware, stemware, and flowers, but I do love the look.  (More on the table setting in an upcoming post.)




That's about it for now!  My head is spinning with all that I need to accomplish between now and May 23 (last day of school) like Communion, School Spring Musical (Mary's a Lullaby League girl in the Wizard of Oz), Dance Company Recital, first-ever softball and t-ball games, etc., etc., etc.

Taking it One.Event.At.A.Time!!!

Happy Thursday, Friends! Be good to yourselves and each other,


 

6 comments:

  1. Oh Val- I relate to everything so much.

    This week, I heard of a couple I've known for years who are started the process of divorce. A nice Catholic couple who married the same year as my husband and I- who after nearly 17 years of ups and downs are throwing in the towel. It is SO sad- for them and for their children and for our society as a whole that family is so easily tossed aside.

    And my son is making his 1st Communion this weekend as well. I feel overwhelmed by all the preparations but hope that the day will be focused on my son and on Christ and on the gift of the Eucharist. For now- I am up to my ears in to do lists and party foods.

    Hope your father-in-law is doing better and I hope Mary Catherine has a truly beautiful day on Sunday as she receives Our Lord for the 1st time!

    Many blessings, Kari

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  2. Hi Valerie, that is heartbreaking to know so many marriages that are falling apart. I sometimes wonder if they only stay together for the children and now that they're grown, they make the split. Like you said, it still has fall out with the children and grandchildren. We need to pray that God sends His special graces to strengthen marriages.

    Your daughter will look lovely on her big day! And your table setting is gorgeous! Enjoy this Holy Sacrament Day of celebrations!

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  3. First Communion is such a special time, especially for those girls...they love their pictures taken, curlers, nails, everything!! So fun!! You'll see the difference when your son makes his! Her shoes are adorable! Can't wait to see more. Love the table setting, so pretty! I just do white table cloths and paper plates!! (lots of people usually)

    So sad about all those couples you know. I have a cousin who just went through a divorce after 20 some years. They have 3 kids, 2 older ones around the 20 age and one 10 year old. So so sad. You can tell he doesn't want it. (the dad is my cousin) The mom, his wife woke up one day and wanted out. I"m sure it was a long time coming, but if they'd put the time into it....just a shame. You know,I what I don't get is, at this age, what do they have to lose? Right? If they don't try and make it work, they have a ton to lose, including the possibility of being alone for the rest of their lives. Maybe now, it sounds wonderful, but by the time they hit a60 or 70, they will be lonely.

    Great post Val. God bless you. (both)

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  4. It just makes one wonder why a marriage of so many years ends.

    Ken and I have always said
    "marriage does not come with a user's manual" we have done a lot
    of winging it but we keep on going.
    One must work daily on a marriage!

    Sorry to hear of your friends sadness.

    Congratulations to Miss Mary!
    I remember my first Communion.
    It is a special!

    M :)

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  5. Ooops.

    Hope all goes well with your Father-in-law.

    M :

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  6. Just want to gibe you a bloggy version of a hug (((HUG))))

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Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Your kind words are appreciated! As Mother Teresa said, "Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love."

Valerie