Tuesday, April 27, 2010



Believe me when I say the irony is not lost on me that this week is National Infertility Awareness Week sponsored by the wonderful organization RESOLVE

And while it is ironic that we hosted a “gender reveal party” on the first day of this awareness week, I think it is important for many to understand that having a baby (either by IVF, IUI, God’s Grace, etc.) does NOT remove a diagnosis of infertility.  Yup, when you join the “infertility club” you get a free lifetime membership.  UGH!

And while there are many ways to “resolve” this situation including medical technology (IVF/IUI/Injectables, etc.), surrogacy, adoption, and child-free living, in the end you still long for the one thing that you can not have:  CHOICE.  The choice to decide when and how many children you want to build your family.

Wishing all of you who are members of the same sisterhood as me, peace and/or a resolution to your struggles.


Daddy holding Mary Catherine, our IVF/ICSI baby, just minutes after birth.  We both have tears in our eyes!DSC00045

Mommy holding Benjamin after his delivery.  Benjamin is what the REs like to refer to as a “bonus baby”…a baby conceived without medical intervention after a successful full-term IVF pregnancy.Baby Benjamin Paul Kueter Day 1 021


  1. Hello Valerie! I am so sorry I have not been by to leave any comments. I have been reading, just too rushed (or lazy) to leave comments on blogs for the last month. I think I just needed to take a step back and focus on other things. I am SURE you know how that is with your ever growing family. Valerie, I am SO excited for you! A new baby bot on the way and you hit 24 week milestone! Congratulations! I am so so happy for your entire family!

  2. The other thing people need to remember is that the ability to conceive doesn't actually mean a person is fertile in the normal sense. People seem to forget the people who conceive but fight everyday to keep that precious life alive. While it's not technically infertility, it's not exactly fertility either. It's a painful line between both worlds that is often ignored and shunned by both groups. I, unfortunately, conceive very easily. However, out of 9 pregnancies I've ended up with only 3 wonderful living children, 7 angels, and countless emotional scars.

    In some cases a free life time membership would be nice, like for National Geographic or something. In this case I would have liked to have the chance to opt out!

    Congratulations on each of your children.

  3. I have an old high school friend struggling with her diagnosis of infertility and just pray so hard for her! Having a child is such a blessing and joy and it is simply not fair that people who really WANT it can't have it easily.

    Thanks for the great comment! I wish we actually lived closer so we could be "real life" friends! :)

    I wrote you an email earlier today to the address listed on the left of your blog. Did you get it? :)

  4. Beautiful pictures Valerie!! I can see the happiness in both you and your husband's eyes!


Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Your kind words are appreciated! As Mother Teresa said, "Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love."