Friday, October 7, 2011

When Infertility Makes You Laugh

Infertility and laughter are words not often used together in the same sentence.  And certainly, a couple's struggle with infertility is not a laughing matter. But every once in a while, a funny conversation occurs that makes one smile, if not laugh.

One such instance happened at Mass...of all places... this past weekend. 

My husband was on-duty on Saturday (24-hour shift), but our family was assigned to carry up the Offertory Gifts and so my three little ones and I attended Mass by ourselves.  It also happened to be the weekend of my husband's and my wedding anniversary.

Since we had arrived early, Father Pat, our Pastor, put my two older kiddos to work greeting parishioners and handing out bulletins.  Sitting alone in the pew with just our youngest, two sweet little "old" ladies sat down in front of me. 

They oohed and aaaahed over Luke and then somehow it came up in conversation that Sunday was my wedding anniversary. 

So little "old" lady #1 says:  "How many years?" 

To which I say, "Eighteen". 

Little "old" lady #1 replies, "Eighteen.  Don't you just have babies?  What did you do all those years?" 

For the first time, ever, I was able to simply look her in the eye with my head held high, smile, and say, "Infertility".

Chime in Little "Old" Lady #2 who says, "WHAT DID SHE SAY?  SHE CAME EARLY?"  And yes.  She yelled it.  (I don't think her hearing aid worked properly.)

Little "Old" Lady #1 then says, "SHE SAID IN.FER.TIL.I.TY," so loudly that not only could Little "old" lady #2 hear, but so could every other parishioner at Holy Family!

I wanted to die.  Laughing.  And it was all I could do to stifle that giggle.

Is infertility funny.  No.  But gosh darn it, we just need to laugh at ourselves and the situations we find ourselves in at times. 

After four losses, my husband and I were blessed with Mary and then Benjamin.  A fifth loss occurred between Benjamin and Luke. 

And Luke.  A gift from God a mere 3-weeks before my 41st birthday and 17th wedding anniversary.

So, what did we do all those years?

We loved, we lost, we loved, we grew, we loved, we grieved, we loved.

And we thanked and honored God.



  1. Happy Anniversary!! I understand the blessing of children and the loss of them. I still mourn their loss and know I was also blessed to have my last at almost 4o yrs. of age. Think of all those children in Heaven to greet us : ) ~Theresa

  2. LOL! What a blessing it is to be able to get a laugh out of infertility now and then. How else would we survive? :) I love what you said: "we loved, we lost, we grew." You nailed it. May we never take for granted the testimony our struggles can be in the lives of others - because we choose to grow from it. God bless!

  3. Oh, my gosh, the end of your post made me cry. Beautiful post. Truly beautiful.

    We struggled with infertility the first almost 3 years of our marriage. I only wished now, that I'd cherished my husband a little more back then. Cherished all that time we had together as a couple.

    It sure made each baby a miracle. A total blessing.

  4. Oh goodness, that is somewhat funny! :)
    You do have three wonderful blessings from God and I know they love you and Chris bunches.

    Have a wonderful weekend!


  5. Valerie, what a great story :) Humor can soothe the soul. Thank you so much for your sweet comment left at my blog... I look forward to getting to know you! And your 3 little ones are beautiful! :)

  6. Val,
    Thank you for sharing this! As you know with Infertility at my dismay, this brought me a chuckle too! I can so see this happening! Almost like I was sitting right behind you! how you ended it with what y'all did, really hit home!! Love you girl and thank you for your sweet comments when you stopped by the other day! Love ya bunches and call anytime! We sure do need to catch up again!
    Hugs and Love,

  7. You always make me smile. I know this might come as a shock but over the years we fought our fertility. I am just so glad that God had let each of us know HIM, even with our opposite of issues. God Bless each of your special babies and may those in heaven pray for us!

  8. what a beautiful story of love and faithfulness and perseverance ! God bless you both on your anniversary and BEYOND !!

  9. Made me smile :-)
    Our fourth anniversary is coming up on Thursday - amazing how quickly time flies! Happy Anniversary to you!

  10. Only 16 years, but we just celebrated too!

    Your kids are so cute. Thanks for popping over to my blog. I can't post there, because you never know who might see it, but I have issues among my own family (my brother and his wife) with bashing as you describe - mainly the Catholic faith. While I am somewhat happy that we live far enough away from them so that they are not an influence on my children, I recognize the possibility for change, so I try hard to keep quiet around the children about their aunt and uncle. I don't want them growing up thinking bad thoughts about them, even if I rightfully keep them at arm's distance! I think we can certainly keep the 4th commandment (and getting along with siblings for the sake of family harmony is included) without embroiling our children in ugly adult issues.

    PS: I LOVED the year we lived in Kansas (Ft Leavenworth). Lucky you!

  11. Val! I love it!! I have missed out on so much on your blog! Not sure I can go back and catch up, but I will defiantly be peeking in from now on! I'm going to work on getting my blog back up and running, too...It took a backseat to Facebook, but I think it has it's rightful place in my world... It can be more of a scrapbooking place for me to write thoughts and memories... Missed seeing you this last month... hopefully we can get together soon! :-)

  12. HA! Okay, so when I don't "preview" my message, it ends up saying things like "defiantly" rather than *definitely*, which is what I intended to write...goodness! :-)


Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Your kind words are appreciated! As Mother Teresa said, "Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love."