Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Baby Christmas Ornament

Look what I received in the mail...



...a gift from my best friend!  Although I received this after the holidays, it is still so very special to me!  When I received it in late January, I just couldn't bear to pack it up even though my tree and ornaments had already been packed away.  As March draws near, I know it is time to put it away for discovery and delight next December!

Besides the fact that I FORGOT to purchase my own child's "first Christmas" ornament, there is also a lot of sentiment behind this purchase. 

Like me, my best friend has struggled with infertility, but our stories have traveled different paths.  One woman has experienced the gift of life three times (really...we really do struggle with infertility!), while the other has yet to give birth.  Most recently, after hitting our 40s, one of us got pregnant and carried to term, while the other finally achieved pregnancy, only to miscarry. 

For the first time in my life, I was "the fertile" one. 

It was an odd feeling...like the shoe didn't quite fit and was pinching.  And while nothing could dampen the joy surrounding the birth of our youngest child,  my heart was heavy when it was time to "share the news" with her.  Best friends since 15, at 40+ our babies would have only been 3-months apart.  It just wasn't meant to be.

When I received this gift in the mail, it was almost as if she gave me the gift of forgiveness. 

Forgiveness?  Yes, forgiveness. Forgiveness for "getting" to have a 3rd baby while she so desperately only wanted one.  Permission to let go of the guilt I carried for nine months in addition to the weight of pregnancy.

We do not know, nor can we always understand God's ways.  It is only through prayer (God, Please make your will be my desire.) that we can reconcile the difference between what God wants for our lives and what we want for ourselves.

Thank you, Shannon, for the gift of forgiveness. For loving my children as your own.  For being my best friend for over 25 years.  I love you like a sister and cherish our friendship!


2 comments:

  1. "Lord, please make Your will be my desire." I love that prayer! We just finished our second IVF cycle, transferring two embryos last Sunday. Now I'm just waiting and praying, knowing that no matter the results of my test next week, God has an amazing plan for our family.

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  2. Hi Valerie - I did see this post last week, but I just reread it, as it applied to me so much more this week. You are my inspiration that there is another "side" to this street and that we'll cross it soon.

    I know I shouldn't worry, but I don't know how to stop that. I know I shouldn't stress, but I can't help it. So perhaps I'm my own worst enemy. I'll keep trying.

    Prayer, yes, very important! I pray each night to our Blessed Mother, to Jesus, St. Gerard, St. Jude, JPII, and to our angel, to intercede on our behalf. That doesn't mean that I'll get what I so desperately want.

    You know, there was something I read a while ago about a tapestry, and that our experiences are the colours of this tapestry, but we are too close and too involved to see the "whole picture", which needs some darkness for contract, in order to make the piece more beautiful - and that only God sees the whole picture at this time.

    Thanks for thinking of me!!

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Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Your kind words are appreciated! As Mother Teresa said, "Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love."

Valerie