When You Have the "Lentiest" of Lents

The Triduum:  Holy Thursday (The Betrayal)

I stumbled upon this most beautiful Catholic prayer written by a fellow blogger...I think it should be titled, "When You Experience the Lentiest of Lents!"  My children, family/in-laws, and closest friends have been walking by my side since Ash Wednesday (ironic no?!) as I navigate a betrayal so deep I have been forever changed.

Katie Cassidy prays:

Loving God, this trudge toward Easter has been long and the sustenance meager.

I find myself coming to you with empty hands and aching arms,
from the effort of carrying a cross I did not choose.

You know all too well that choosing a sacrifice this year was a luxury.
In the midst of it all, giving something more felt laughable.

The effort of taking up this cross is taking everything I have.

But You are faithful. You are Love. You are Good.

I know that You can see
how even these empty hands and aching arms are a gift, extended to you.

With all that I cannot give, and everything that this season was not,
I ask that you remake these humble offerings,
that they would be lavish and worthy of You,
knowing that they have been gathered and held with the utmost care.

Lord, I know that You see scarcity and create abundance;
You see mourning and turn it to dancing.

Even death has lost its hold for You.

Copyright © 2023 Katie Cassady. 

After 40 days of walking through the "desert" of sorrow, and being away from Church, I decided that Holy Thursday would mark my return and recommitment to Jesus.  Who else could love me so completely, so unconditionally, or so faithfully??? 

As I sat through the most beautiful Holy Thursday service, it occurred to me that the pain and sorrow I have been experiencing was experienced by our Lord himself.  God took human form so that He might experience all of our human emotions allowing him to truly KNOW us. Jesus intimately experienced the sadness/despair/rejection/betrayal that I have grappled with this Lent. He has been patiently waiting for my return to Him.

As my children and I navigate this loss, we ask for your prayers for peace and healing of our hearts.  And if you, too, have been struggling with betrayal, grief, or deep sorrow, know that our Heavenly Father sees us...knows us...loves us...longs for us...to hand over our burdens to Him.  

And if so inclined, feel free to listen to Belovedness by Sarah Kroger.  I've played these lyrics over and over in the car, in my office, for my boys...I think I'm beginning to finally internalize and believe them...

"You've owned your fear

and all your self-loathing;

You've owned the voices

inside of your head.

You've owned the shame

and reproach of your failure;

it's time to own your belovedness.

HE says you're mine,

I smiled when I made you;

I find you beautiful in every way,

My love for you is fierce and unending

I'll come to find you,

whatever it takes.

MY BELOVED!"

My beloved...it's time to own your belovedness!